Think Before You Speak

Earl was an eccentric little rabbit,

About which,

Everyone made quite a racket,

He was as ordinary as you please,

Really a lovely fellow,

But there was always talk about,

Him wearing a long black jacket,

And his strange love for eating jello.

 

Some squirrels say his jacket,

Is to aide him in black magic,

He’s not normal,

And he must be up to tricks,

But the otters believe,

It’s just his blameless lucky charm,

And fits naturally to him,

As much as his own arm.

 

The rest of them,

All have their own view too,

So I feel I ought,

To clear things up with you:

He’s a fuckin gem!

 

His many weird habits,

Make him unlike the other rabbits,

Like when he ventures out of the woods,

To stock up on people goods.

 

While he is gone,

Others quake with fear,

As their minds produce some crazy thoughts,

Of things he may be getting up to,

He just buys innocent things,

Like spinach and whiskey,

And lugs them back,

In a big black sack,

But he keeps his doings on the down-low,

So they get freaked out,

By what they don’t know.

 

He’s quite the early bird,

Each morning he happily wakes,

Then after putting the coffee on,

Heads outside,

Where he does a wild dance,

And the onlooking deer deem him absurd,

As they look on in a trance.

 

It’s not totally that tragic though,

See these deer don’t know,

He’s saying some words,

That encourage their meadow grasses to grow.

 

He won’t partake of his coffee,

Without first reciting a good-luck phrase,

That his mother used to hope,

Would be just a phase,

As it made her hair raise.

 

I’ll give you that,

Yes this could be a tad odd,

But it has done things amazing,

Like preventing a carelessly tossed match,

From setting their whole wood ablaze.

 

He grows alfalfa and carrots,

On all sides of his cottage,

And enjoys watching their progress,

During an evening sit,

On his wrap-around terrace.

 

It’s said he does strange things,

While out there each evening,

The Old Owl is always watching,

And says supposedly his lips move,

But put forth no sound,

And his crazy hand motions,

Have been told of for miles around.

 

In reality he’s just humming,

Relaxing himself with a merry tune,

While tapping his arm chair,

With his ice cream spoon.

 

Today he outwitted a tiger,

And stopped him from terrorizing a spider,

The truth’s still being sorted out,

Of just how that came about.

 

Orlando the Owl swears,

That last evening on his porch,

He saw him do a dance,

While swinging ’round a torch,

So it must have been a spell,

How else,

He asks,

Could he have made a tiger fell?

 

Truth be told,

If he could have done such a thing,

He’d rather use such excessive powers,

To fill his pockets full of gold.

 

Sunday is his fun day out,

One week he’ll go here,

And meet an old school peer,

For a game of solitaire,

Another week he may go there,

In search of a new cologne,

To spray upon his hair.

 

Sandra the Sparrow speculates,

That he does evil on these dates,

Why else,

She says,

Would he wander out so far,

Without taking his flashy car?

But he is not at all about Hell,

She does not know what it is she tells.

 

Here’s the truth:

He’s out there having fun,

Dodging busy noses,

As they’re trying to find out,

Everything under the blazing sun,

That he’s ever done.

 

Do you maybe have an Earl,

Somewhere near to where you are?

Are you maybe being less than fair,

While you sit there judging,

From your high and mighty chair?

 

 

 

 

 

I think I’d Like That

I’d rather be a tree,

This way I’d not be everyone’s focus,

Probably the animals,

Would be the only ones to give me any notice.

 

I’d rather be a dog,

This way I could laze around all day,

My biggest worry being,

If I’m in anybody’s way.

 

I’d rather be a dollar bill,

This way I’d travel ’round the world for free,

Going from this wallet to that hand,

I’d see it all from sea to sea.

 

I’d rather be a horse,

This way I could use my hooves,

To beat up my enemies,

And no one would disapprove.

 

I’d rather be a sea shell,

This way I could live on the beach,

Without the beach house mortgage,

Yes that would make life just peachy.

 

I’d rather be a parrot,

This way I could yak all day,

And people would laugh not be offended,

By the truths I’d say.

 

I’d rather be a Christmas wreath,

This way I could go in hiding almost all year,

Rather than deal with people,

Not as rosy as they appear.

 

I’d rather be a dairy cow,

This way I’d have no responsibility,

Except for giving you cream and butter,

With a mood of docility.

 

I’d rather be a television,

This way I could portray the bad news,

But since it would not affect me,

I’d not have cause to worry or feel blue.

 

I’d rather be a tiger,

This way I could be so scary,

No one would dare laugh,

Just because I prefer a life this solitary.

 

I’d rather be a book,

This way every day would be relaxing,

I’d just sit in a little nook,

Instead of doing things that prove taxing.

 

I’d rather be a flower,

This way I could be pretty always,

No more taking time for makeup,

And covering up greys.

 

*************************

 

No one’s wholly happy,

With who or what they are,

If we all were,

No one would get far,

It’s not complaining,

It’s knowing damn well what you’re worth,

Don’t just take what you’re given and smile,

If all you ever have,

Is the hand you’re dealt,

You may as well keel over,

And become just more dust for the Earth.

 

 

Mid-December 2018: A Short Summary

Merry Christmas my ass,

There’s nothing holly-jolly here,

It’s a fact I wish,

I could just disappear.

 

Christmas parties just bring problems,

Not worth it to conquer,

At first they’re bright and merry,

Then out come the monsters,

Some hide within themselves.

 

Kill me now,

Why don’t you?

It would be better than dealing,

With the after-effects of this evening.

 

The food was fine,

As was my whiskey,

And probably your wine,

But then the complications come,

Proving that many are just dumb.

 

I’d rather just go home,

Maybe,

I should have come alone,

By myself it could be nice,

No one would be close enough to me then,

To start an undesired fight.

 

Some things cannot be fixed,

Things said,

I know were not misread,

And now,

My “friend”,

I wish I could hit your face,

With a ton of bricks,

Just remember the things done,

Are eventually gonna,

Make me run.

 

 

The Finer Things In Life

Whiskey and rum,

Made for having fun,

And getting frisky,

A magic potion,

To give you courage,

When normally you can’t budge,

Also a substance,

To help you relax,

When it’s time to kick back.

 

Lazy days,

With naught to do,

Other than feel the sun’s rays,

Settle in with a good book,

Your mind will sprout wings,

And allow you to overlook,

Shitty everyday happenings.

 

Morning coffee,

To grant you energy,

For dealing with crazies,

How it works is a fascination,

Let’s just call it,

A legal addiction.

 

Puppies and ponies,

So full of unconditional love,

When given the chance,

They’ll stick to you like a glove,

Much better are they,

Than our fellow beings,

Who are often phonies.

 

Money,

We are taught that it’s,

A bad thing to love it,

It is exchanged though,

For everything one needs and wants,

From lavish vacations,

To your breakfast croissants,

So see without it,

Life could not amount to shit.

 

Comfort foods,

It depends on the individual,

As to what they are,

But sometimes they are critical,

To float you past a bad time,

They’re like a miracle.

 

Cardio and weights,

Doing those,

Should not be a debate,

It’s great to make,

Your body hott,

All the while,

Unraveling your mind’s knots.

 

I’m sure you know,

This world is shot,

Try not to get caught,

Without the time,

For the activities you find divine.

 

 

Run Along Now

It’s time to let it go,

Turn the lights out on that shit,

And just get over it.

 

Hopefully you’ve learned a lesson,

But now you need to,

Get to steppin’.

 

Better things await,

Beyond the next gate,

This was never meant to be your fate.

 

It seemed meant to be,

At the time,

But already this thing,

Has passed its prime.

 

There’s a whole world out there,

It’s time to see beyond,

This doomed affair.

 

Something new,

In its own time,

Will find its way to you.

 

The beyond right now seems scary,

But this toxic situation,

Is saddling you with burdens,

You should not have to carry.

 

Just leave,

Go about your business,

There’s nothing here to grieve.

 

There will be fun,

After you’ve found,

The courage to run,

You will see,

Times bright as the sun.

 

Your true destination,

Will not leave you bumped and bruised,

Not even figuratively,

You are not meant to be abused.

 

Until you are satisfied,

It’s not the end of the line,

It’s only a stepping stone,

Do not let yourself,

Be confined.

 

 

An Outsider’s Jingle

R-rated,

Seemingly always hated,

But never be a mirror image,

Of anyone but yourself.

 

Haunted,

By a feeling,

Of never being truly wanted,

Will keep your brain a-reeling.

 

Take a break,

A break from life,

For awhile,

Leave the world behind,

Learn again to smile,

Go re-find your mind.

 

As said by Cinderella,

We all need some sort of shelter,

Figure out what could be yours,

Go, go far away,

Get to doing it,

Leave behind this world,

That’s trying to make you,

From yourself stray.

 

Don’t come back,

‘Til you’re back on track,

‘Til all your problems,

Have been sacked,

And you’re safe,

From going Snap.

 

You’ll be recharged,

But still,

Don’t be expecting miracles,

Remember,

Don’t dilute your personality,

Just for others who are critical,

And insist on causing for you,

Troubles by the barrelful.

 

You are R-rated,

Seemingly always hated,

Haunted,

Because you feel never really wanted,

But don’t let these assholes make you feel daunted,

Be yourself,

Yes fucking flaunt it.

 

 

 

 

 

Today

It started out just fine,

But it takes just one motherfucker,

Crossing just one line,

I roll my eyes,

And happen to look up at the sky.

 

Oh my!

Look what’s rolling in,

Out there on the horizon,

I wish,

For once,

To be the clouds,

Instead of the one they shroud.

 

Clouds,

You may as well stay,

Your presence,

Mirrors my mood today.

 

Are you laughing,

As you rain on my parade?

Do you find it funny,

To fill my day with gloom,

Making sure that in my life,

No flowers are able to bloom?

 

You are welcome,

To bring with you a storm,

Just kindly make it strong,

Strong enough for the winds and waters,

To wash gone,

All that’s wrong.

 

Clouds,

I see you’re forecast to stick around,

I hope that’s not also the prediction,

For my current vexation.

 

Clouds,

Instead of being a mirror,

It would be more satisfactory,

For you to be a wall,

That I could hide behind,

Until my way is clearer.

 

They say too much sun can burn you,

Maybe that’s the silver lining here,

Good things can have their own ill effects,

But when the sun’s shining so bright,

Bringing all that cheer,

It’s easy to get blinded,

Then once the downside hits,

Which rest assured it surely will,

Life will start to go downhill,

And there you are,

Life’s no more the Ritz.

 

Clouds,

You make me have a thicker skin,

You make me tough as nails,

So keep it coming assholes,

This bitch will prevail!