Clumsy Crissy’s Cupid-Day Crisis

I woke up late,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

I thought I’d make up time,

With my roller-skates,

But I tripped,

On a melon rind,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

When I got there,

There was a guard,

Posted at the gate,

And he stared me down from afar,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

The old fool made me wait,

He didn’t care,

That I was in dire straits,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

Turns out I’d,

Mixed up the date,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

It’s now lunchtime,

I’d better find some place,

To fill my plate,

And hope I don’t gain eight,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

I met a man,

While I ate,

And he seemed great,

But I knew he wouldn’t want me,

In my present state,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

I’ve changed from my skates,

And have a smoother gait,

But now it’s too late,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

At this rate,

I’ll have to move states,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

Back at home,

All my mind does is roam,

I can’t concentrate,

Guess I should lift some weights,

To tamp down the hate,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

It’s a new day,

Will it be a clean slate,

Or be filled,

With yesterday’s traits?

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

*************************

 

All is well,

He took the bait,

We had some dates,

And he’s now my mate,

Maybe the day,

Had to be a brat,

For life to turn around like that.

 

 

 

 

 

Valentines Day

I’m sick of bitches bitching,

They’re really grating on my nerves,

On and on they grumble,

As out of their mouths,

Crazy shit does tumble.

 

“I’ve got no Valentines Day date”,

“I received no candy and no flowers”,

“I’m a loser ‘cuz I’m all alone”,

These are annoying things they say,

When they piss and moan,

About this so-called holiday.

 

How pathetic to feel,

That single equals worthless,

All because on this day,

You were not showered with,

A ton of meaningless gifts.

 

Some taken bitches bitch too,

About this petty shit,

They get all agitated,

Their appetite for unimportant things is never sated.

 

Poor, poor her,

She was not wined and dined,

Or showered with things fine,

He did not book a getaway,

Specifically to celebrate,

This so-called holiday,

Now she’s bawling like a calf,

Hating her other half.

 

I’m sorry for you,

If you are the type,

That looks forward to this day,

Along with all the hype.

 

I’ll just sit back and relax,

And chuckle at these dim-witted quacks,

As I am of the opinion,

That there is no reason for today to be celebrated,

It’s altogether overrated.