Clumsy Crissy’s Cupid-Day Crisis

I woke up late,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

I thought I’d make up time,

With my roller-skates,

But I tripped,

On a melon rind,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

When I got there,

There was a guard,

Posted at the gate,

And he stared me down from afar,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

The old fool made me wait,

He didn’t care,

That I was in dire straits,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

Turns out I’d,

Mixed up the date,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

It’s now lunchtime,

I’d better find some place,

To fill my plate,

And hope I don’t gain eight,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

I met a man,

While I ate,

And he seemed great,

But I knew he wouldn’t want me,

In my present state,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

I’ve changed from my skates,

And have a smoother gait,

But now it’s too late,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

At this rate,

I’ll have to move states,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

Back at home,

All my mind does is roam,

I can’t concentrate,

Guess I should lift some weights,

To tamp down the hate,

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

It’s a new day,

Will it be a clean slate,

Or be filled,

With yesterday’s traits?

I really hate,

When things go like that,

But maybe that’s my fate.

 

*************************

 

All is well,

He took the bait,

We had some dates,

And he’s now my mate,

Maybe the day,

Had to be a brat,

For life to turn around like that.

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, You Wish………..

You can start with “I wish”,

And end it however you like,

But it’s just a thought,

And will help you naught.

 

*************************

 

If only a wish,

Wasn’t just a wish,

If we could cast a line,

Then reel it in,

Like one does a fish.

 

If only wishes,

Blew in on the wind,

If we could just open up our arms,

And they’d be ours for the taking,

Free for just embracing.

 

If only wishes,

Could really be granted,

We could search high and search low,

Til we sought out a genie,

And our wish he’d bestow.

 

If only wishes,

Weren’t just our imaginations,

If they could be rained upon us,

We’d fill a bucket to the top,

The next time the clouds let it drop.

 

If only wishes,

Could be bought,

We’d work our hands to the bone,

Then we’d use all our pennies,

To buy many.

 

If only wishes,

Struck from out of nowhere,

We could head out in a storm,

And with luck its eyewall,

Won’t pass us by.

 

If only wishes,

Could be given as gifts,

It would seem always like Christmas,

We’d eagerly pass them around,

Hoping by Karma we’d be found.

 

If only wishes,

Could be planted,

We’d plant giant gardens,

Then from our land,

We’d farm them by hand.

 

If only wishes,

Weren’t just daydreams,

It would be nice to pick them,

To keep on hand,

For if we get stranded.

 

If only wishes,

Could be earned,

We could labor with a smile,

For that would be worth our while.

 

**************************

 

If you think about it,

It makes no sense,

To wish upon a star,

That will only fall,

Far away,

From wherever you are.

 

I’ve come to the conclusion,

That wishes are worthless,

I’d say I wish that wasn’t true,

But that would be pointless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jigsaw

Life is like a puzzle,

But everyone’s missing a piece,

And until you find it,

You will never really know peace.

 

It seems to come and go,

In the form of life’s ups and downs,

Just know that if it leaves,

It was never the piece,

Sent to make you complete,

And peace you have not yet known.

 

Search high,

Search low,

Be sure to check all those cracks in between,

Until your puzzle is made whole,

By someone or something,

That will never have to go.

 

The ups are just wonderful,

Aren’t they?

You’re soaring high,

Until the good times,

Say bye-bye.

 

Were they worth it?

That’s a good question,

I guess we’ll never truly know,

Why our personal heaven,

Turns out to also be,

Our own form of hell.

 

But wait until a year,

After heaven has turned to hell,

Think back and you’ll find,

There was probably a reason,

Why it fell.

 

The times known as downs are fucked,

They are piles and piles of bad luck,

That sometimes last,

Until we feel,

That we are stuck.

 

The one silver lining,

When you are down,

A.k.a. fucked,

The only way to go is up.

 

So is it worth it?

That’s for you to decide,

You can choose to run and hide,

Or to laugh and enjoy the ride.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mid-December 2018: A Short Summary

Merry Christmas my ass,

There’s nothing holly-jolly here,

It’s a fact I wish,

I could just disappear.

 

Christmas parties just bring problems,

Not worth it to conquer,

At first they’re bright and merry,

Then out come the monsters,

Some hide within themselves.

 

Kill me now,

Why don’t you?

It would be better than dealing,

With the after-effects of this evening.

 

The food was fine,

As was my whiskey,

And probably your wine,

But then the complications come,

Proving that many are just dumb.

 

I’d rather just go home,

Maybe,

I should have come alone,

By myself it could be nice,

No one would be close enough to me then,

To start an undesired fight.

 

Some things cannot be fixed,

Things said,

I know were not misread,

And now,

My “friend”,

I wish I could hit your face,

With a ton of bricks,

Just remember the things done,

Are eventually gonna,

Make me run.

 

 

A Re-Written Fairy Tale

Today I must,

For you re-write,

The story of Snow White,

As you read it through,

It may indeed pale,

In comparison to the original tale,

But I swear to you,

Each word is true.

 

Inside a vast forest,

Deep inside and to the North,

Lies a comely cottage,

Inhabited by a beauty called Snow White,

Who lives a simple life,

Happy and at one,

With our Mother Earth.

 

Each day is different though the same,

She wanders out,

And navigates her way about,

Picking herbs and berries,

Until she has all that she can carry.

 

Often she will spy,

A pretty bird in a tree up high,

Or an interesting flower swaying to and fro,

In the valley not far below,

But nothing could prepare her to see,

What she saw this morning,

They were a seriously scary,

And ugly thing to see.

 

A midget and a skeleton,

From the back yea sure,

They only looked like a couple of gentleman,

But upon them hearing our Snow White,

They stopped and turned around,

And there her heart nearly stopped,

Yes it plummeted to the ground,

And her scream was heard,

For quite a distance around.

 

You see she was used to,

Conversing with the animals,

And the occasional passerby,

Normally those out and about this early,

Were nothing like this evil looking,

Spine chilling crew of two.

 

Once her heart beat settled down,

She looked to them with a frown,

And though their words then were polite,

When they walked away,

She could hear them laughing about her fright.

 

Unused to interruptions such as these,

In her commonly calm grove of trees,

Since normally the type to pass through,

Were friendly and sincere,

She went to see Queen Aimee,

Knowing she would lend an ear.

 

After a talk and a drink,

Snow White was calmer,

And made her way back home to think,

Then at some point she fell asleep,

And awoke knowing just,

What to do to these creeps.

 

She had to bide her time,

Not just execute her plan on a dime,

She decided she would wait,

For Halloween to come around,

Then for sure this midget and this skeleton,

Would fall victim to her bait.

 

Her daily routine now has her on edge,

Never has she been so uncomfortable,

In what is normally her element,

The birds are no longer as beautiful,

Nor the flowers as fragrant.

 

Still though she powers through,

She must,

As the things she gathers,

Are her livelihood,

So she deals with these two daily,

While out on her strolls,

And the things she hears from them,

Are never very good.

 

What used to be so pleasant,

Was now nerve wracking and stressful,

There were still the lovely encounters,

With forest creatures and neighbors,

But no matter how much good was present,

Seeing those two would add a touch of dreadful.

 

While picking berries with Queen Aimee,

At a crossroads near her cottage,

Snow White could see the midget,

He was going about his business,

A slight scowl on his face,

She wished then that she could drown him,

In a pot of piping-hot porridge,

Especially when along came his skeleton,

And together they started speaking of her,

The lies they spoke were so vicious,

There was no way now,

For them to ever earn her forgiveness.

 

As the summer wore on,

Fall settled upon Snow White’s woods,

And for her plan,

She began to gather,

The needed goods.

 

She could see without a doubt,

That the midget and the skeleton,

Needed to be taken out,

They always schooled their face,

Into a friendly mask,

Until the unlucky one was gone from their space,

Then insulting talk and mean laughter would commence.

 

These two evil boys went out of their way,

With snide comments,

And nasty looks,

Their despicable behavior,

Made them many enemies,

Amongst this lot of trees.

 

Inside her cottage,

The cauldron smoked and bubbled,

With a brew so potent,

It would take only a moment,

For them to go under,

And leave Snow White and her woods,

Again untroubled.

 

Before long the day arrived,

Time for the annual Halloween bash,

All the forest folk were invited,

Even those two known as,

The neighborhood trash.

 

A great array of gourmet dishes,

Prepared exclusively by our Snow White,

Were set up on a massive table,

Bathed in colorful flashy lights.

 

There was a name card at each seat,

And two had beside them,

An extra-special treat,

A piece of her famous apple pie,

With just enough poison,

To not quite make them die.

 

First there was casino card games and some dancing,

Then to the food tables,

Everyone started advancing,

While they all filled their plates,

Snow White snuck off to hide,

To watch the midget and the skeleton,

Devour their food,

And then her bait.

 

Soon it was time for everyone to go,

All were so buzzed and full,

No one noticed the two troublemakers,

Had been brought down,

By their resident baker.

 

She dragged them inside,

And left them to a lifelong nap,

Where Karma could complete the work,

Their princesses never showed,

At the humble abode,

And as their lips never received their kiss,

They were forced to stay,

Forever like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Riddance, Mr.!

Mrs. Wolf’s husband was a liar,

So she ran from him,

Like he was Hellfire,

She ran off to this awesome place,

The Enchanted Forest,

So I’m told,

He says she’s disappeared,

And left without a trace.

 

I hear she’s set up with a prime lot,

On the corner of Riding and Hood,

Come what may,

Happen what would,

She’s the Baddest Bitch,

For miles around,

In that little enchanted town.

 

She knows life will get crazy,

And life will get hard,

She also knows she’s better off,

Without that retard.

 

Mrs. Wolf got a pet called Ted,

A tortoise who usually hangs out,

By the garden shed,

He helps her through the tough times,

He’s much better for mental issues,

Than a stupid box of tissues.

 

One day was undoubtedly going to be a scorcher,

Too hot to bake the bread,

So she got in her head,

A notion to visit the mall,

She fetched her purse,

From down the hall,

Then got in her Wolf Car,

And blasted the air,

To keep herself from torture.

 

Mrs. Wolf knew,

The mall was a danger,

As it was built on the border,

Of the Enchanted Forest,

And the Real World,

Here’s to hoping she doesn’t see that gossip,

Mrs. Morris,

Or her ex-husband,

Whose name is Boris.

 

Mrs. Wolf had quite the exciting day,

Like any lady,

Enjoying retail therapy,

And for the record yes,

She did see the enemy,

Mr. Wolf was also there,

But she managed to dodge his nasty ass,

And came home with a hott new dress,

And a record clean of a felony.

 

Mrs. Wolf likes to take Tortoise Ted,

For walks along the forest paths,

Every day about noon,

As a wolf and a tortoise together,

Is one weird sight,

She was thought by some,

To be crazy as a loon,

But she did not care,

What they thought,

She was free,

And could not wait to see,

What other wonders,

The single life brought.

 

In Mrs. Wolf’s Enchanted Town,

Time is frozen,

While she stayed young,

It is told,

That Boris got old.

 

Days went by,

Then weeks turned into months,

And months flowed into years,

Finally Mrs. Wolf ran out of tears,

And try as he might,

That lying Boris Wolf,

Was never able to find,

Her sexy behind.

 

Mrs. Wolf has no regrets,

Life here is as good as it gets,

Freedom to choose,

Her every move,

This is easy street,

Yes life here is a treat.

 

Mr. Wolf never did get happy,

Though he tried his best,

And in some situations,

Even got a little sappy,

He was forever the neighborhood outcast,

For his treatment of Mrs. Wolf in the past.

 

Mrs. Wolf is still alive,

But Mr. Wolf has long since died,

Good riddance to him,

She thinks with a laugh,

As she and Tortoise Ted,

Once more skip down their favorite path.

 

 

 

Run Along Now

It’s time to let it go,

Turn the lights out on that shit,

And just get over it.

 

Hopefully you’ve learned a lesson,

But now you need to,

Get to steppin’.

 

Better things await,

Beyond the next gate,

This was never meant to be your fate.

 

It seemed meant to be,

At the time,

But already this thing,

Has passed its prime.

 

There’s a whole world out there,

It’s time to see beyond,

This doomed affair.

 

Something new,

In its own time,

Will find its way to you.

 

The beyond right now seems scary,

But this toxic situation,

Is saddling you with burdens,

You should not have to carry.

 

Just leave,

Go about your business,

There’s nothing here to grieve.

 

There will be fun,

After you’ve found,

The courage to run,

You will see,

Times bright as the sun.

 

Your true destination,

Will not leave you bumped and bruised,

Not even figuratively,

You are not meant to be abused.

 

Until you are satisfied,

It’s not the end of the line,

It’s only a stepping stone,

Do not let yourself,

Be confined.